Monday, November 25, 2002

::Look how much I've grown...::

Mood: Melancholy

Look Deeper: Longing

Listening to: H.O.T-Outside Castle

Well, another day another dollar. Seems like the only reason I go to school anymore is to socialize. My grades are really going to start sucking if I don't straighten up. I really don't know what's up with me, seems like there's just something in the air..Jenny and I were both in the same mood yesterday and today. She's seriously my alter ego. Well, besides her crappy music, she's nearly a carbon copy. We've both been so apathetic lately. I guess it's because I've stopped trying?? That heartache that should've hit me SO long ago is finally running it's course. Love is a slow and fatal poison


We all are meant for one person, and one person alone. It's true that most will find many that mesh with them closely, but not perfectly. There's only one person in the world for that. Most of us will be lucky to even catch a glimpse of this person perhaps on the street; because even if it's only for a split second, we would've been complete. I've found that person, I'm one of the .5% of the population that was lucky enough to actually meet and be with them. And I suppose it's true that nothing lasts forever because now, she's gone. When she I locked my heart and when she died I died with her, My heart is frozen forever. It's not like I dwell on this fact, or that I'm never going to be able to be happy again, however everything I come in contact with now will always seem like second best because I've already found-and lost- my eternity. Maybe one day I'll get her back..The important thing, is that she's happy, and I would die a thousand deaths just to make her smile and ease her pain for just an instant. I loved her with everything I had and everything I was.I don't think she'll ever realize how much she has impacted me or how much I need her, something of hers, a memory is minimal just for me to breathe and to survive...It was just an innocent game, a juvenile infatuation to her. That's why I cry- from frustration- and her part of my heart, that is locked and frozen, is hers forever. It will always love her, in and out mind and soul, she'll always be my number one.
~let's pray she knows~to prove myself, I would have to give her tears from the arch-angel~
(just the superficial layer of the mechanations of my inner mind.)


~signing out